I think it’s about time that I update this…
I am back into my stressful mood again =-=;;;…. Where do I begin… Uhem… It starteddd officially on May 15, 2009. That was the day I become someone’s girlfriend. Charles’ girlfriend. So, how did that go? Well, I must say I was quite the happy person when our relationship started. He is so sweet and he treats me so well. I was definitely on cloud 9. Things were great til he started to question why I was giving him attitude. No matter how many times I tell him… He wouldn’t understand why the attitude exists. Well first off, there’s PMS. Sometimes I just feel pretty cranky. Nextly, perhaps my feelings towards him became more sensitive since we’re dating… that is most likely why… I get easily irritated more. When there is a cause, there is an effect. But yeah… he wasn’t able to withstand the attitude at all… That was a major problem of our relationship… Time passes and we went on our grad trip… We went to Mount Tremblant and Quebec City. Most of the trip was very but, we had a lot of fights at night… which of course were resolved in the end… But still, it was the same problems that occured… again and again. Things were better after the trip. Well, that’s what I think. We just hungout everyday together. Those times were very fun xD. There was something new everyday lol o_o. Like, one time, we were watching a movie “Big Mama”… something like that. Then he got a call from his mom that she got into a car accident so she needs his help asap. So basically, he stormed out of the house and I was keeping his house company. That was a very unique situation. So, I stayed at his house and watched the whole movie by myself. I got my sister to buy me McDonalds xD. Then I went home… Haha, xD. There’s so much more of these random days that we have spent together. I am lacking A LOT of details. If I typed all the details out… I’d say it would be like… at least… 100 pages. AT LEAST. So, I’ll leave out the details. So then, time passes. Charles has to leave for Asia. I planned his goodbye gift a month aheadddd. I decided to bake him a Green Tea Cake, give him a “couple” facecloth, write him a plane letter and fold him this really cute origami double hearts. I gave him the cake the day before his flight. When he tasted it, he said it tasted very good. I was like oh really? Then he’s like ARE YOU SURE YOU MADE IT? My expression: =____________________=;;; No shit, Sherlock. I was pretty happy about that because he never compliments me on anything hhaha. I gave him the plane gift. I told him not to open it until he got on the plane… I think he listened to me about that. Oh and uh, I didn’t really see him for like 2 days until the very last day that he was in Canada. So, when we saw each other (after his shower lol), we hugged tightly for like a good 10 minutes. I really missed him and it was so sweet that he kept saying that he missed me a lot. It made my heart very warm haha… At the same time, I was worried as to what will happen when he returns to Asia for a bit. Thing is, his exgf lives there and I know that she still has feelings for him… I was very afraid. I always bring up the topic about what will happen in Asia if she did something? What will happen if you (as in Charles) do something? I was completely vulnerable. I didn’t know what to think or do. I trust him to an extent but, knowing their history… It’s extremely difficult to know… That feeling is Emi’s 6th sense, which never fails Emi. He promised me he won’t cheat on me and really… that was all I was asking for. I just wanted his loyalty. He msged me on msn the day after his first night in China. He did all the things I’d hope he wouldn’t do. First off, he was with his exgf when he was msging me. It went something like this…
Charles: Did you miss me? =)
Emi: Yeah =P. Altho, I prefer to hear it over the phone…
Charles: I can’t… I’m with my exgf and a frd right now…
That totally made my day lol. But wait, it doesn’t stop there.
Emi: Why are you taking so long to reply?
Charles: Sorry… I am just having the worst hangover ever…
Emi’s thoughts: What? He drank?
Wait now it gets even better…
Charles: I went clubbing last night…
Emi’s thoughts: *Holds heart*
Emi: Your exgf went?
Charles: Don’t worry I went with a lot of people.
Emi’s thoughts: Damn this hurts lol.
After that, I got very skeptical. I got super insecure. That’s when Emi’s 6th sense toally kicked in. It’s been more than a week since that conversation. Between those days, we exchanged phone calls and msn. But today, I was informed about something… Something that I was afraid to think… that would happen. I know I need to listen to his story first… Also a random note, he probably doesn’t know how depressed I was when he was gone. Not only did I ate less.. it was to the point where I don’t eat lol. Healthy? Yes. I wasn’t able to sleep either… I would (not intentionally) wake up every couple of hours to check my phone… to wait to talk to him on the phone. My mentality tells me not to do that. But, my heart took over. Aside from that, there would be random times that I would breakdown and tear up… Sometimes, I don’t know why… I’m super sensitive? My 6th sense scares me? In plain simple words, I was hurting very much. It was to a point where my heart actually hurts.. like the actual thing lol. I never felt so much for a person before. Everyday was just very hard to get through lol. I wish I was exaggerating but, I am not. I missed him so much that I started to read our old msn convos before we went out. Those were cute xD. Very cute haha. Bad idea… made me miss him even more. Furthermore, Charles will be coming in August… I’m hoping as soon as possible. He is going against his father’s will… So, I am very concerned… I guess I will have to cook for him everyday o.o;;. Alright back to the point, something went on in Asia and he will be telling me what happened when he is back from Asia. Bad news? Yes. I already know a bit of it… regarding his exgf if I’m not wrong… Certainly, it’s not something that any gf would want to hear lol. Also, he will be spending 3 days in Shanghai with his exgf and a frd… Yay =D. Not only that, she might be moving to Canada! ………….. It’s been tough the past week and a bit… I wonder how much pain my heart can take o.o;;;. It certainly bypassed any pain I felt for Justin. When I mean bypass I mean… the pain then compared to now is NOTHING. And I thought… it was hard back then… I surely didn’t know much then lol. At the moment, I have so much thoughts in my mindd… I don’t know which ones to dish out right now… =-=;;. I am just… trying to have some hope and faith. Things will turn out alright… right?
